From the poll that I did of my readers and of my followers on Twitter, I know that the majority of women struggle with keeping the house running as smoothly as we like. We all have different tolerances for dirt and clutter and we are all in different places in our lives.
One thing we HAVE to learn to do is cut yourself some slack. You may be overwhelmed right now. You may not know where to begin. You may be doing too much in your life right now. You may have a house full of young ones who DO take all of your time.
The second thing you need to do is to find a way to do the bare minimum and do it regularly. My friend Heather Solos over at Home-Ec 101 wrote a great post to a mother who was struggling and possibly even suffering from postpartum depression. She gave her a list of triage items to do when you feel you just can’t tackle it all.
When you feel like you can’t get anything done, do these every day.
- Feed, bathe, and dress the kids.
- Make sure there are no dirty diapers sitting out.
- If there are animals in the house, all of their waste must be removed immediately.
- Take out the trash, especially any food waste that may be on the counters / coffee table.
- Dishes.
Empty the dishwasher, load the dishwasher. If this doesn’t take care of all the dishes, fill the sink with soapy water and soak the rest.
If you do not have a dishwasher, rinse, scrape, and stack neatly the dirty dishes. Begin washing as you can. - Laundry.
Gather it in a place that makes sense. It’s ok to be behind on laundry, you just have to appear to be making the effort.
These are your mandatory things and on some days even they will feel nearly impossible.
There are times in life when we have to just do the things to get by. Will your house be on the cover of the Better Homes and Gardens? No, but that is okay. Finding a level of order that works for you and your family will help you be more at peace with yourself.
I have a great resource that may help you from Nony at A Slob Comes Clean. She has 2 e-books that have great reviews!
Home Ec 101 – Skills for Everyday Living
Many times we struggle with the household because we just don’t know HOW to do something in the house. We may have never learned from our mother. Heather Solos has written an awesome book. It would kind of be like the Home Ec text bookthat would’ve been used 30+ years ago, but for modern women. I encourage you to check it out! Available in print and in Kindle format!
*Disclaimer- the links on this page are affiliate links
Thank you so much for your kind words of recommendation, they mean a lot.
For those of us who work at home there’s the challenge of being distracted by the ever-present mess while we’ working, and knowing there’s business to be taken care of while we’re cleaning.
Great blog!
Yes, working from home definitely presents that challenge. Possibly setting aside a specific time to clean or pick up each day, before beginning your work day, or during a break in your work?
I have to remind myself there are some things I HAVE to do and some things I WANT to do quite often!
Yes, we have to make those distinctions! Tell ourselves the truth and face it.
one thing that has brought me great peace of mind is to realize that the laundry will never be done! Unless they are naked for a couple of days, there will always be dirty clothes! I was always trying to finish the laundry and was like a dog chasing its tail! Now realizing that is will never be done, I’ve stopped trying to finish it!
Some of it has to do with expectations, for sure! I used to do laundry on specific days of the week. Once I did the loads on those days, I was done until the next laundry day.
Bernice
Love the priority list. Definitely puts things in the right order. And if those things get done, life will carry on.
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I have a 10 and 13 year old that I bribe with money every weekend to do the simple stuff like vacuum, dust and mop. I pick up from there. I never tried to be a WAHM when they were smaller so I can definitely sympathize with moms of younger ones that can’t clean up yet.
I love your priority list.
Just know, if you do not have a maid and you want to stay sane, the house will never be clean with kids (and hubby around).
I heard this years ago and it helps: “When the kids are adults what will you want them to remember? That mom kept a really clean house or that mom played games, laughed and made great dinners for us everyday?” When I am pressed for time, I always clean somewhat and make sure I leave time for family (and friends) (and margaritas) (a girl has to keep her sanity. LOL)
~Allie
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Such a great priority list. I have a terrible time keeping up with my house with three small kids close in age and then a teenager. I feel like I’m just spinning in circles. I have learned to let things go because I have to for my sanity. We will have plenty of years to have spotless houses.
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I am struggling with this issue here in Christchurch. I work full time and am a single mother of a 12yo boy. I keep thinking I should be doing a better job of all this – my mother kept the house spotless (no, she didn’t work). I am learning to give myself a break, but it is still depressing to come home to too much stuff in too small a space. Thanks for the kind words, though, and the book suggestion.
Wow, amazing blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is magnificent, let alone the content!. Thanks For Your article about The ever-present mess | The Stressed Mom .
I love this post. As a mom, works full time, and a side business, it so hard to maintain the house with two kids. Thanks for sharing!
When I had little kids and stayed at home with them, a friend gave me this quote.
“Cleaning a house with kids in it is like trying to shovel snow in a blizzard.”
When they went to school, I went to works. So my house is still a mess. it was nice to have a “spare” room near the laundry room to hide the mountain of clean stuff that needed to be folded. I used that room to do my crafty projects and sewing. This helped me keep the messy monster corralled.
Shedding tears of joy this morning knowing that just by doing things will bring hope in the midst of chaos. This farm mom is tired. It’s calving season and that means more laundry and more dirt tracked in. Thank you for the inspiration
Thank you for this post. I have a 3 year old and an 8 month old, both boys. Lately I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed with housework, taking care of the kids and working from home. I love the list…make things much easier.
This is a great list. I always need to remember that just getting the kids dressed and fed is something. I have a 2 year old and a 1 year old and also work part time from home along with running a cake decorating business out of my small apartment. Life gets a little crazy and we have the ever-present mess a LOT! Love your blog.