3 reasons why moms are so tired

Mothers today seem to have 3 full time jobs, whether you work inside the home, outside the home, from a coffee shop or your car! We are just downright BUSY all the time.

why moms are tired

Many would say that we HAVE to be so busy to keep up with life today. That may be true to a degree, but I believe there are at least 3 reasons why women are so exhausted all the time. You may be surprised at what these are.

3 reasons why moms are on overload

1. You do everything yourself. 

You feel like if something is going to get done, YOU have to do it. Here are a few areas you might need to lighten up:

  • Ask for your spouse’s help and accept his level of performance. So he doesn’t put a diaper on straight, BIG DEAL.
  • After working in some capacity all day, instead of fixing dinner and calling the family in when it is ready, get the kids, and hubby, to help with dinner. You’d be surprised what kids can do!
  • Laundry, housework, will the world come to an end if it isn’t done YOUR way? Again, enlist the help of the kids, and the hubby, especially if you work outside the home. Teach kids to do a good job, but accept they probably WON’T do it as well as you, but THAT IS OKAY!
  • Look for ways to use services or convenience items to lighten your load. Buy pre-cooked and pre-cut stuff at the grocery store. Consider if at this season in your life you should hire a cleaning service to come in once or twice a month.
busy mom

2. You won’t say NO.

With kids, we are presented so many opportunities to DO so many things for and with them. Consider saying NO to some of those requests. If you have a hard time saying NO, read my post Unleashing Your Inner Two Year Old.

Determine what is MOST important to you and your family, and learn to say NO to other requests. Obviously there will be times when you say YES from the goodness of your heart, but be very specific with these times. 

 3. You think that you HAVE to do things to measure up with other moms

This is a difficult one. It is one that most of us wouldn’t necessarily admit, but deep down inside we have that nagging feeling that “everyone else” does it, so I should be able to as well.

The thing is, ALL of us feel that way! We are all looking at each other in awe of how another mom gets “everything” done, while another mom is looking at you and asking herself the same question!

We run ourselves ragged trying to do what we think everyone else is doing. We are so worried that we are not measuring up to other mom’s standards. But who is setting those standards? Unfortunately the media and Hollywood have a lot to do with it, but so do we.

tell your time banner

As women, we need to allow our self the grace and freedom to embrace our imperfection!

It is time to step up and say it is OKAY not to have it all together.

It is OKAY if our house is a wreck.

It is OKAY if we ate fast food 4 times this week.

It is OKAY if you bottle feed or use disposable diapers.

It is OKAY if you buy snack for your kids class instead of making homemade.

It is OKAY if you don’t recycle.

By allowing yourself to BE who you are, your absolutely WONDERFUL imperfect self, you free other moms to be and do the same!

And remember, your kids don’t NEED a perfect mom. They need a mom who loves them and is present in their lives, and is physically and emotionally well.

It is time to take care of YOU!

I’m linking this post up with Shell’s Pour Your Heart Out. and Better Mom Monday’s

28 days to hope accountability group

33 comments to 3 reasons why moms are so tired

  • Goodness, can I ever relate! I’m guilty of all of three of these. But you know what? I’m getting better. My kids helped make dinner the other night. I let my dad fold laundry (he put my underwear in with my 6 year olds …). Baby steps!

    • Bernice

      That is awesome! Kids love to help in the kitchen! It is a great way to spend some time with them and eventually they will learn to be a BIG help to you!
      My husband drives me nuts because he just throws his socks and underwear into a drawer when he is putting laundry away. I have to just bite my tongue, it is HIS drawer after all, lol!

  • I need to work on saying no more.

    And I need to ask for more help from my husband.

  • I cannot believe what I have just read. So you think it’s ok to live in a messy home, eat junk, and get your KIDS to do your house work??

    If I was going to be this kind of mum I wouldn’t have kids. Yea I’m tired, but that’s because I’m not lazy and I work to provide my kids with the best.

    Sorry but I just don’t agree with anything you have said, and if me or my partner arrived home to a microwave meal after a hard days work…well both of us would be naffed off with the other.

    • Bernice

      I had a feeling some readers might react to the extreme view of this post.
      In reality I am not saying that you should or shouldn’t try to do those things. What we need to do, each family, each mom, is to decide what are THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS to us. Because unless a woman has a Wonder Woman cape or a magic wand, or a trust fund to hire help, there is no way that we can DO IT ALL all of the time. So we have to make choices. And each family should choose what is important to them at the season of life they are currently in. And then be at peace with their decisions for the time being. We need to cut our selves and other women some slack.

    • Jen

      Wow! Some people have no common sense! This is a great article that most “normal” people will understand 🙂

  • Oh and to top it all off….let’s start teaching our kids not to recycle

  • I totally get what you mean Bernice and understand that you aren’t making the suggestion that we fail our priorities, but rather that they be our priorities and not sacrifice balance for the fear of being judged by another mom. It is a tough world of expectations out there and I really appreciate the safe place you are creating here for us all to take a deep breath and put what matters most first.

  • Kim

    I enjoyed the article, probably more so because of my current situation, coming to the end of a pregnancy with twins where I just CAN’T possibly do everything for my 4 year old & 2 year old. My husband is taking a much more active role these days & he likes it when I give him a list so he can contribute to the household too. I’ve also learned the importance of priorities since getting healthy babies here is a lot more important than overdoing it with some of the things that could’ve sent me into pre-term labor. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my kids or do the best I can for them, but its important to adapt to circumstances and not get too wrapped up in guilt if we aren’t as perfect as we’d like to be.

    • Bernice

      So glad you have made peace with your current situation. You are absolutely right, healthy babies are more important than a clean house or fancy foods. You are the perfect example of knowing that this is a season and you have learned not to let it get to you, not “too” much anyway.
      Good luck on those babies!

  • As a single mom there isn’t a husband to ask for help from, but I probably should say no to others more. It’s amazing how people will keep asking and asking and taking and taking from a single mom of four. I’m a very non-confrontational person who likes to be helpful because I understand what it’s like to need help, but a lot of people just take advantage if you don’t speak up for yourself and say no.

  • mainegirl5

    When you’re in the weeds, you’re in the weeds. Just don’t get down on yourself if you don’t get to do everything you thought you should. My house is a lot cleaner now that my youngest is 10. My priority was to keep my children well fed and safe. To me that meant that my dishes soaked overnight and I never had an iron in the house.

    • Bernice

      I love this “My priority was to keep my children well fed and safe”. Isn’t that the most important thing, along with showing them love?
      And my dishes usually DO soak overnight. 🙂

  • mainegirl5

    I’ll just add that one thing that helped me out of that omg it’s 6pm and nothing is cooked yet! I would pull out some kind of meat, chicken, pot roast, or ribs and just throw it in the crockpot. No thinking, no seasoning, not even any salt and then when we’d get home from homeschool activities, there was a nice tender protein for dinner that I could put together in half an hour for a quick meal:)

    • Bernice

      That is a good idea, if you can’t get to the pre-planning stage yet. Just get something going and you will make a meal out of it somehow! Causes us to be creative! 🙂

  • […] successful, work, achieve and still set boundaries to have time with your family.The Stressed Mom: 3 Reasons Why Moms Are Tired All Of The Time Parents know that we often take on too much – but these reminders along the way can help us […]

  • Carla

    Awesome post.

  • I completely agree, especially with #1!! If you wan’t something done RIGHT, do it yourself….if you want something done twice, have your hubby do it…and then re-do it yourself…

  • I agree, expecially with #1! If you want something done right, do it yourself…if you want something done twice, have the hubby do it..and then re-do it yourself…

  • Cherie

    I agree with the suggestions! My children are grown and have kids of their own. Never have they told me they remember that the dishes were always washed and the beds were always made! Happy, well adjusted kids sometimes go to bed dirty and have fast food dinners. Laugh, play, learn, work, and grow together! Don’t let temporal things stress you! Time with your kiddos is too short!

  • Absolutely! I have struggled with recycling and continually beat myself up for forgetting every single Thursday. So I get a back pile of cardboard running over into the house and get mad…. I should just give it up for a few years until my babies are older.. I didn’t even realize what a source of strife this was. Thanks!

  • […] EXHAUSTED. I know Joyce’s son, A.J. gets up before the crack of dawn! I pointed out “three reasons why moms are so tired“. Are you guilty of any of […]

  • Hi Mamas! As a tired mom myself, I was inspired to write a children’s book, due to my tiredness and as a form of therapy, called Why Is Mommy So Tired? It is a comical but heartwarming story that reminds us exhausted parents of the most important part of being a parent, playing and spending time with our kids. I believe finding balance is key in parenting. At the end of the day, we gave life to these wonderful little people and what better way to get more energy than to play with your little one!

  • I love this! You are so right. I do everything you have listed. I do everything myself cause I like it done my way. I need to delegate more. I am tired all the time. And I have high expectations on myself of how the house should look or what food I cook. I have to admit, we eat a lot of takeout. And ppl my own dad often says how we could save money if we cooked more. Yeah, we would. My my insanity would be off the rocket if I had to fix a meal 7 days a week.

    Love your blog. Thanks for making me feel better today.

  • Liz

    What is this about husbands helping? I’m sorry – I thought they were adults that were supposed to be equally responsible for the running of the household. But instead everything parent- and household-oriented is aimed at women. This is totally demoralizing and depressing.

  • Jill

    Sadly, my husband refuses to help with things. He believes I should be able to do it all myself. He’s only recently started helping with laundry because I was too sick to do it and gave up. But his way of helping is putting a pile through the machines and then handing me a basket of cold, wrinkled clothes and getting mad at me when I refuse to fold it. I told him anyone can put them through the machines and I would gladly trade him the task of folding/putting away. He very rarely does dishes and mainly only his. He blames the entire house mess on me. So ya, I married a real nice guy.

  • Hmmm. I’m an older mom of two kids (6 & 10). I remember feeling this way, but realize I don’t any more. My ‘running mate’ just called and I burst into tears telling him how awesome he is after reading this! Haha, just what he needed. My aunt Normie, like my mom and all her sisters, always had an impeccable home, garden, dinners. Her kids are grown (one is passed) and she’s getting great-grandkids. When I had my first kid at 39, she told me “I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time cleaning the house.” And I guess it stuck. We recycle, mostly. And we eat healthy, mostly.
    We sweep up and sometimes the dishes sit. But at night we cuddle up and read, and when daddy-o drops the kids off at school, they seem to be laughing, mostly. I’m sure my mom doesn’t approve, but I think my kids do. Well fed and safe, I agree. xx A

  • Michelle

    I understand the sentiment, and I also understand that we all have different priorities, but it is never ok to eat fast food 4 times a week. Really, that stuff has cartilage and plastic in it, they’d be better off not eating.

  • Mary

    While I appreciate the theme here and agree mums can be way too hard on themselves I also like Michelle disagree with the takeout 4 nights a week (unless its a once off like being sick). Its not going to be ok if children dont learn healthy eating habits and how to prepare wholesome food end up overweight or with other health issues.

  • Heather in Michigan

    Never once while reading this did I think that dirty houses and fast food are an ok way to live. But they are an ok way to get by in a tough time! We need to not be so hard on ourselves when we miss a goal, forget a meal, or leave the laundry in the dryer overnight. Relax everybody! Your kids remember how you made them feel – not how the house looked that one time you were sick. They remember your words and your hugs.
    So, give them a hug and ask them to please put away their laundry. You need the help.