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My name is Bernice and I am a mom of 4 grown children, and nana to 8. Read more...

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FYB 180

Moms AREN’T “Doing it all”

*This post was originally published in 2011 on Living the Balanced Life.

In hearing Liz Gumbinner speak at Typeacon this past Saturday, it became even more solidified in my mind that for us to be successful women, in whatever type of business or personal life we have, we have to stop trying to do it all.

As I talked about a couple of months ago in a previous post titled  Good enough is the new perfect, we have been encouraged from the generation before us and our current generation that we CAN have it all. Well if we try to HAVE IT ALL, we will fall apart. Something will falter, whether it is our health, our children, our marriage or our career.

What women today need to accept and learn is that we don’t have to have it ALL to be successful. We just need to focus on achieving the things that are important to us and our families and forget trying to please everyone else in the world.

moms aren't "doing it all"

Accepting NOT doing it all

I want to challenge you to conciously think about what things you can leave undone in your life, or greatly reduce. Think of the things that just really don’t matter. Things that maybe you are doing so others “think” you are successful. Things you don because your mother says you should. Make this list and stop doing these actions.

I asked the question on twitter, “What things do you NOT do so that you have time to do the more important things?” I got some very interesting responses!

First, however, I want to share with you, some things I don’t do. Now, remember I am at the stage where I do not have children in my house anymore, just one young adult son who is never here! I do however, have 2 dogs!

  • I dust about 3 or 4 times a year.
  • And I probably mop my large kitchen floor about as often.
  • I vacuum the living room and entry way several times a week because of the dogs, but the bedrooms? A couple of times a year. (Dogs aren’t allowed in the bedrooms).
  • My bathrooms get scrubbed about once a month.
  • At any given time you come into my house, there are probably dishes in the sink AND in the dishwasher.
  • My bed will not be made. I make it at night right before we get into it and only because my husband likes to pull the covers all over the place.
  • My recycling bin will be overflowing.
  • My desk has piles of stuff on it.
  • As for me personally, at most any given time, I would be in need of a shave (legs, lol!), an eyebrow plucking, and a manicure.

Does this make me sound like a slob? Maybe to some of you it does. I hope though, that for some of you it is freeing to realize we don’t have to have it all together all the time. And chances are, most other women don’t either!

Let me share what some of my twitter friends had to say!

One of the first things that came up was DUSTING!

No more dusting 

you can touch the dust

Amy was glad to share her picture of her sign!

  There were those, who like me, don’t do any extra cleaning!

 no extra cleaning

 Some have given up or cut way back on TV… 

less TV

 Or shopping. (I don’t shop either, unless I HAVE to.)

give up shopping

Some admitted to cleaning less, although I think it’s possible I detected a tinge of guilt!

do less cleaning

Some have learned to say NO to activities that aren’t so important to them.

the other Julia Roberts

Some women admitted to giving up some things that should be important to them. All of us have to make sacrifices, but hopefully their sacrifice is for a limited time. Our bodies and minds can only handle so much for a certain time.

personal care

taking time for yourself

 So, what about you, my dear reader? What are going to give up so you can have what is most important to you?


5 comments to Moms AREN’T “Doing it all”

  • Lou

    My grandmother said we could write in the dust, as long as we didn’t write the date. :)

  • Written bomb

    Your bathrooms are scrubbed once a month? And mop your kitchen floor 3-4 times a year. That’s a little gross sorry.

  • Lol! I love the dust sign! Not doing it all is something I’ve become okay with, because I can focus on doing the things I WANT to do with my family instead!

  • Such a great point. There are enough things that could be done within a household to effectively a)keep us busy and b)prevent us from ever getting to the things that matter, for the rest of our lives. This is a struggle that I hear a lot from new parents. I’m so glad you took the stigma head-on. (I use my dryer like a closet.)